We have ALL been there, those really uncomfortable moments of too much eye contact, hair flipping and smiling, awkward conversation, with odd notations about the weather.
Now, sometimes you just hit it off. The conversation flows like you have known each other for years, you get the eye contact/smile ratio just right and you have a wonderful time; and the guy can’t wait to take your phone number down before saying goodbye with a simple hug or a peck on the cheek.
But for the rest of us, when we see that final fork in the road, we go into incessant worry mode; did I touch his hand enough? Did I play too much with my hair? Was I wearing way too much mascara? And so on. But sometimes, even if we did everything right, he may just not be into it (however this almost never happens, and blaming our new eye-liner is a much better plan).
But there are a few internationally certified rules (western culture only) that can get you on the right track to a magical date or a night of amazing wild sex (unfortunately your ability to flirt does not mean he will be good in bed).
Rules Of Flirtation:
1. LOOK interested. Now this may seem obvious, and you may deem me an idiot for even bringing it up, but many women do not know how to project that they would like to rip off the guy’s clothes and do dirty things to him (or just simply be fishing for a nice sushi date).
So, what does one need to do to look into him.
Body Language: Sit openly (don’t cross your arms, or fold them), put your arms on the arm rests, look at ease. Smile, make eye contact, then make eye contact AND smile. Play with your hair a little. If you are feeling provocative don’t bite you’re lip and give him a dirty look… you can simply just rub your hand slowly down your thigh, or smile suggestively.
2. Make physical contact! (This is important, but you have to make sure not to overdo it, that is if you are not looking for a one night stand) Slightly graze his thigh with yours, sit close to him.
Now, it is not easy to do it without looking like you did it on purpose, but you need to try, be coy! Try lightly grazing his hand when reaching for things. Rub his knee with yours and half-heartedly say “sorry”.
Things that will be considered forward: back massages, stroking his hand or thigh, stroking his happy place.
3. Conversation. Don’t make it heavy, keep it light, interesting (you want to look smart, but not in a “know it all” sort of way). Suss out what the other person is into, what makes his voice enthusiastic and try to stick to that. Listen! Don’t just nod; try and take in what he is saying for later on.
Do not pretend you know things that you don’t, if that blows up in your face you will look and feel like the world’s greatest idiot.
Don’t talk about exes, gross things, politics or religion (unless you only date scientologists, and want to know if they are a fellow believer). Stay away from things that are taboo, or really controversial (like dead bodies or the war in Iraq).
Don’t give it all up on the first conversation, keep it simple- it’s a preview for your first date!
4. Don’t be intense, don’t be inappropriate, don’t talk too much, don’t stare, don’t come on too strongly, don’t be rude, don’t make fun (I can go on with the don’t do this, that, or the other for ages, but those are the basics, stick to them!).
5. Finally, be confident! Confidence radiates and is very attractive!
Flirting is powerful, use it wisely…