What can you do, we all have our little pet peeves, those little things that drive us up the wall. We all make mental check lists, and when we go out with a new guy, spend the majority of the date going over them in our head. From the dawn of time until now, there have always been those little things known as “Deal Breakers”. Whether it was your social standing, your father not owning enough sheep, or just plain bad breath; they are all personal, mostly legitimate, things that put us off dating someone. They can be big things, such as bad habits, like long toenails (a personal no-no of mine) or small things, like he may be wanted in ten different countries… Either way, in your eyes, he is undatable.
But sometimes it’s hard to tell if we are being logical, aware and smart people, with high standards, or just plain too picky.
So, how can one tell?
I’m sorry to say, but there are no clear-cut answers. We must find the balance between our personal neurosis, and the truth. But at any rate, here are some pointers to start off with…
Rules of Deal Breaking:
1. Be HONEST with yourself! Are you into him? If you are not, nothing else matters!
2. The little things you can’t overlook now, are just going to get MORE annoying as time goes by. (If his atrocious singing in the bathtub bugs you now, in two years it may cause you to want to beat him to death with the showerhead).
3. Make a list of things you can live with, and things that just drive you MAD and you won’t put up with (also, don’t afraid to be FLEXIBLE if need be; as in, don’t dump prince charming because he can’t remember to put the toilet seat down).
4. Go with your gut feeling, if you see a ‘red flag’ it can be trying to tell you something (i.e. if you feel that way about ALL the men you date, you are either picking the wrong ones, or you are just plain picky).
5. Get a close friend, who you trust, to weigh in on the situation, maybe she/he can help. (But always take what they have to say with a grain of salt, after all, you are the one who has to live with the decision).
Don’t be too hard on yourself, if you really can’t live with something, you shouldn’t have to!
6. And finally… Be Kind; don’t tell the guy you are ending it because “his foot fungus keeps you awake at night”.