Rule #12- Sex In Transit

IMG_3888

I used to have this rule, NO sex on trips. Why? Because I always felt sticky, out of it and not in the mood. Then I realized that having sex is more fun than not having it! Some of you may like to go away together to fancy hotels, or spa weekends. I like to go camping and hiking (aka places where you work hard and sweat); because I know there are more people like me out there, this post is for you!

When you’re travelling as a couple, sex can either be something that adds to a trip or hinders it.

And the great thing about wilderness camping,

you finally get some privacy!

Rules For Sex Off The Beaten Path:                                                                                                                                                                  

1. Hygiene: because keeping clean is the best way to avoid uncomfortable itching (and to put you both at ease); if you feel comfortable you will enjoy yourself a hell of a LOT more.

So, what not to do:

Do NOT have sex in rivers/pools/lakes and so on! (It will result with you getting things in places where you don’t want them).

Do NOT have sex on the ground, sand or grass… bring a blanket!

What you should do:

You SHOULD wash (down there), bring intimate intimate soap or wipes (just make sure you wash off the soap; no one wants a mouthful of that).

Make sure to wash and pee after (no one wants an infection as their trip souvenir). Don’t be lazy! (Even if it’s pouring with rain outside).

2. Be prepared; bring all the necessary provisions: condoms, wipes, soap, handcuffs, lube (and of course, a rubbish bag- in order to leave no trace).

Attach two sleeping bags and make sure your tent is big enough to allow movement.

It’s not like your’e spoiling the spontaneity of the moment, you both know that you’re going to be doing it, so plan ahead!

3. Talk about all the things above with each other, it’s perfectly fine to work out the technical details together.

Outback sex is an awful lot of fun and you shouldn’t let a few mosquito bites on the bum be a deterrent.

21 comments

  1. Imagine my surprise and delight to read the title of this post! Indeed, I do have a Ford Transit which I have converted into a lovely comfortable space with all manner of home comforts. Having two teenage children does rather cramp one’s style. Such lack of privacy tends to necessitate the undertaking that is literally your title there.
    It is beautifully comforting to be in a forest somewhere, rain pounding on the tin roof as you lay warm and comfortable within. I concur entirely with all the points you make and have neatly stowed away all of those necessities you mention along with a couple of champagne flutes which are stashed in tiny compartments in the body of the upholstery.
    How misty eyed with reverie I became after reading your words. I must hasten away immediately to purchase scented candles and some bubbly in the hope that I may persuade the Memsab to accompany me on an evening’s rural retreat, as the nights draw in!

    Thank Ford for this marvellous, versatile vehicle and thank you for allowing me a moment’s reflection with the accomanying smiles that the memory and anticipation provided.

  2. Ah yes sex outdoors *sighs*

    Your post made me laugh and smile as I read it. Blanket is definitely a must but you could do it standing up!

  3. Something else occurred to me which is pertinent to your list of “precautions” and preparations and that pertains to sex in a tent in a crowded campsite: It is advisable to check the location of any light sources with respect to the canvas of the tent wall and to the participants. I have oserved situations where a lady’s enthusiastic efforts at taking the lead were projected nicely upon the side of the tent for all to see.
    Of course, this may have been entirely intentional. People have different buttons requiring pressing. That said, this variation on shadow puppetry is far more amusing than a deformed duck or unconvincing digital rabbit.

  4. V-e-r-y good . . . I’ve broken every “rule” . . . doesn’t anyone “do it” in the backseat anymore? I’m old school . . . 67 going on 14 . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s