via Nienke and Nienke, Author Michel van de Wiel fr
I promise I won’t try and convince you to overrun your bedroom with silicone toys, or turn it into leather dungeon (unless of course, you are into that!). Now, don’t get me wrong, one on one, no appliances involved sex, is awesome; but even the best sex life can use the occasional spice. Keeping things interesting has a bit of a taboo; are the two of us not enough? But if you can get past that initial worry, you will discover you can have quite a bit of fun experimenting with new things.
(And if you don’t like it, you never have to do it again!)
So take this opertunity to unleash (or leash) your racy side.
Rules for Bedroom Banter:
1. Create a safe atmosphere, where you can tell one another what really gets your blood racing, and what new things you would like to try.
(That said, it is still unwise to spring it on him that you have a secret S&M fetish. You might need some build up to that).
That also means, you have to be accepting of whatever strange thing he admits to fantasising about. Keep an open mind.
2. If it’s toys you’re after, do your research! Make sure they are from body safe materials and from a licensed company and shop. Trust me, you can be cheap everywhere else, but NOT here.
Go to a ‘woman friendly’ shop; not one of those sleazy porn dens that sell a couple of toys for ambiance. The most important thing is that YOU are BOTH comfortable with the place.
3. Have fun! If you’re not enjoying yourself it defies the whole exercise!
4. Start off slow; find something new you would both like to try. Have a glass or two of wine before to relax.
As per always, communication is the key!
I totally agree.. talk about, be open about ideas.. it’s good to know what your opposite likes.
Gosh! We have come a long way from the early tentative days of “the Date”! We are now up as far as the shine wearing off, which is I suppose as natural a consequence as one would expect.
I must congratulate you not only on the sensitively worded post but also for the continuing tastefulness of the illustrations. You seem to be able to include images that are wonderfully evocative, usually erotic with being tacky. That’s a difficult line to tread and you have managed it admirably. I must admit that am moved to investigate purveyors of fishnet stockings upon this interweb, in the probably vain hope that I might persuade my dear wife to avail herself of them for my purely selfish delight.
Interestingly, I was recently in an “Adult Emporium”, puzzlingly placed in the concourse of Munich airport, (I had some time to kill as I had finished my book). I was astonished to peruse some ENORMOUS parodies of the male reproductive apparatus. Surely, these must be intended solely for injudicious purchase by misguided male partners. At the risk of uncharacteristic indelicacy, surely it must be physically painful to use them in the way suggested? Or am I being naive?
Anyway, another delightful post leaving me with a joy at the difference that continues to vive.
As per usually, you never fail to make me laugh! I’m glad you noticed my attempts to keep the fine line between suggestive and tacky, it is not easy.
As for large models of the male reproductive organ, commonly found in ‘those kind of shops’ I will here admit that the same thought goes through my head when I see them.
I hope all goes well with the stockings petition!
oh! My poor addled fingers! Of course, i meant to say “withOUT being tacky” please forgive the typographical inaccuracy.
love your blog, this is great advice! Take it slow, communicate… get funky.
interesting! as i read more and more of your articles, i seem to think that i might not absolutely loathe sex with the right person. some of the fellows who you feature are quite sexy! and i think that justin timberlake would be excellent in the sack.
http://www.nicoleandgwendolyn.com
I’m always an advocate for good sex (with the right person of course) (;
Have you ever seen Pamela Stephenson Connollys’s articles on sex relationships in the Guardian? I’m not kidding, she’s supposed to be qualified and all that, but your advice is way better!
Hope you’re not offended by my adding a link to another site in a comment –
This one shows just how totally crap her advice is – funny though!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/aug/25/sexual-healing-boyfriend-cannot-climax
Lol, it’s fine. Thank you so much for the compliment!
Okay, just came across your blog, and you are BRILLIANT. I’m in love with it, and I can’t wait to read more… (:
Why thank you!
Hey bigbook,
Perhaps you could blog about dating in natural settings – some of the challenges, perks, etiquette, etc.
What do you mean by ‘natural settings’?
Thanks for the like. I perused around and I’m in love with your blog! I’m subscribing.
That’s awesome, thanks!
I like the idea of putting efforts to have a good sex life unlike taking it for granted
XOXO
http://www.typefashion.wordpress.com
All relationships take effort and keeping things new and fresh is really important. I think the examples you’ve given are great ways to keep things exciting and alluring. Lol at springing your fetishes on your partner – communication is key here I am sure!
http://www.styleonthecouch.com
I know sex isn’t everything in a relationship but it has be something. Great post and great advice.
all nice, tasteful and subtle
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Love it- sex toys make everything better! So many beginner friendly products out there now