Rule #16- Controlling Your Flirty Side

via Mark J Sebastian

via Mark J Sebastian

We ALL love to flirt, yes I will admit it, I like flirting! It’s fun, it gets me what I want, and it makes interactions more pleasant. I’m just the kind of girl who smiles a lot at random strangers.

We all have different motives for doing it: we like the attention, we want to get something done faster, we have a spasm in our cheek muscles; but whatever the reason, we have to consider that besides the wonderful, positive effects flirting has, it can also have some harmful and damaging ones too. 

Such as, gravely insulting your significant other.

Everyone has a different idea for what constitutes flirting and where the line is, and it’s important to acknowledge that fact.

Rules For Harmless Interacting:

1. Discuss boundaries with your partner; what makes them feel uncomfortable.

What makes you feel uncomfortable. When does flashing your cleavage at the bartender cross the line?

2. Learn not to blow things out of proportion; if he gets a little too ‘over friendly’ with the barista at the coffee shop, calmly explain to him why it bothers you.

Also, it’s ok to let him get his ego stroked by strangers from time to time; it will boost his confidence and make him a lot more fun to be around (again, so long as it doesn’t cross your line).

3. Flirt with each other! The more you make each other feel desirable, that happier your relationship and sex life will be, and the less you’ll both need attention from other people.

Compliments are awesome to receive, so why not be the one giving them?!


  1. i remember the days when i allowed an ex man friend to flirt to the point that i felt SUCH discomfort! but i was such a sissy and couldn’t confront him about it. i’m a different girl now, of course . . . but this advice will certainly be valuable to other young girls in the same position. nice post!

  2. i think you hit a nail on its head: within relationships, you have to keep flirting with each other … like this, both parties need less attention from other people .. keep these nice posts coming ..

  3. I should show this to my mare – she’s flirting with neighbouring horses ! Then again…maybe I can learn something from it too…..

  4. I´m naturally flirty with people, which sometimes leads to misunderstandings and uncomfortable situations. Especially after living a couple of years in Spain, where accidentally smiling in the same direction as a guy might be standing is taken as a sign that you want to sleep with him. I´m now learning how to take the flirting down a notch or two.

  5. So true! I love flirting.. it’s the best thing to do especially if like me, you’re desperately trying to get over a banker/CA german boy you’ve known for 11 years!! :-(

  6. I think we all deserve a little “frisson” in life and harmless flirting can be a really nice ego boost or just a reminder that life can be fun and full of excitement. Good rules here to remember though, as I agree it can be harmful too. I love all the eye contact that flirting involves though, so exciting…

  7. I hate to admit I am a flirt….. But being in a relationship has curved my flirting ALOT…. I never want my boyfriend to feel disrespected. And honestly speaking I flirt because its fun. Its not so much to get attention but the actual act is entertaining to me…. I found this post hilarious…. Thanks for sharing!!!!

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