Rule #23- The Gossip

Village_Scene

via surysaha

In a world where gossip is practically social currency, it has become gradually harder to keep those intimate relationship tidbits to ourselves; it’s expected of us to share almost every little detail of our love lives.

Men, dating, sex, there really isn’t much we don’t talk about; it’s fun, bonding and a great deal more entertaining than the daily news (well most of the time).

And naturally, is always followed by the obligatory: “no honey, of course I didn’t tell the girls about that new odd thing we tried…” 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am one of the biggest gossips you will ever meet, but when does recalling all of our private affairs become harmful to them?

Rules for Moderated Girl-Talk:

1. Talk about you dating/sex life with your friends, but don’t forget there are only two of you in the relationship.

It’s great to get an outside perspective, but that isn’t always the case. Don’t forget that your friends aren’t dating your boyfriend; so it’s important to take any advice they give with a grain of salt.

2. If your partner asks you not to repeat something, keep it to yourself! (Same goes for your friends; if they ask you not to talk about an issue with your boyfriend, respect that!).

 3.At the end of the day, there is always the fail proof technique of asking yourself: would I want HIS friends to know that? If the answer is no, keep quiet about that worrying rash he found last night.

4. When you build a relationship with someone, you also build your own little world together. Part of that, is having little secrets and inside jokes, that are private, and sharing everything with your friends (in my opinion), takes a little away from the fun.

25 comments

  1. my rule of thumb is: “if carrie bradshaw talked about it, then it’s okay to talk about.” if you haven’t guessed already, i LOVE carrie bradshaw. :) x

  2. I rarely talk about my relationship with my husband. One thing I learned early in my dating experience is that when your mad about something and tell all your friends than they get mad at him but when you try to make up, your over it but your friends aren’t. Too much drama. On top of that, when I first dated my husband I had a lot of respect for him so I didn’t blab all over town about our stuff. Nobody needs to know about all the little silly things. Me and him are two grown adults who love and respect each other and we will figure it out.

    Since I’m so private with my own stuff people tend to be attracted to me gossip wise because they know I won’t repeat it (partly because I don’t really care). This is a great way to get my fix but not be guilty of it.

  3. I do talk with my girlfriends about their relationships but I don’t think it is very important to know all the details. mostly it is enough to know what they did in general and how their partner reacted and if they were happy in the moments they spend together, to give my friends helpful advices. I prefer to spend a good time with my friends than to talk about their intimate moments.

  4. See, I think that Carrie Bradshaw and her gal pals have alot to answer for…before her, I think it wasnt as socially accepted to be so open and honest with your friends….and as we’ve gained social networking and other formats, its become pretty much the norm to be so gossipy about what goes on in relationships. I’m just as bad, and dont think I could function without talking it all through with my friends to discuss stuff with….I guess its about knowing when its the right point to not discuss stuff or when it is, really…

  5. I agree totally. The private life of two people is not a subject for a screen play that everybody need to watch. Every thing that goes on between two people and their love making should remain private with them.

  6. Ooooh good post! I’m always shocked when some of my friends divulge every single detail of their relationship to me… seriously, I don’t need to know! My mom has always given me the same advice as your post: don’t share too much of your relationship with others, especially when you’re mad – you both will kiss and makeup but your friends/family will hold it against him. Me and my fiance are pretty private!

  7. Thank you for writing about this! I’m amazed at the details some people put on Facebook about their love lives. Especially after a bad breakup. And I totally agree with what the girl above posted. I’ll just go by Carrie Bradshaw’s example!

  8. You truly are on target. If you ever hope to have an intimate last relationship that feels like the first time every time he touches you, the conversation must remain between the two of you! Just celebrated my 36th! Love him as much as the day I met him!!!

  9. Great post, yet again! I learned how to stop gossiping (almost) entirely last year because I told a few friends about a relationship I didn’t want publicly official yet and everybody seemed to know about it! Gossiping can hurt people, too, so I totally agree.

    Stay fab
    Kayla

  10. Haha I really love Nichole’s comment about Carrie Bradshaw! I sometimes find it difficult not to get involved with “gossip” especially around the office when someone is always talking about one thing or another. I find it easier to have one or two very close and trusted friends I tell the important things too. But I agree, repeating something you have been told in confidence is rarely a good thing, unless it is essential for the wellbeing of the person who said it. Oo you are fast becoming my relationship guru :-)

    http://www.styleonthecouch.com

  11. I really don’t like the SATC attitude. Some things should stay between the two of you. Most of the girls I work with blab about everything – and it’s generally about the guys I have to work with too which is just too much info for my liking! It’s not that I don’t talk about my relationship with my close friends, but I don’t go into too much detail. After all, I wouldn’t want the bf telling his mates details about me!!

  12. There is definitely a line between friends and your relationship. There are just some things I keep to myself because I don’t anyone to cross that line and I want to remain friends with my friends. Wonderful article

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