Rule #24- T.M.I, Thank You Very Much!

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via AlMare

We all have, what a wise woman (and her screen play writer) once referred to as: our S.S.B-Secret Single Behavior; things we would only dare do behind a locked door, alone. (gosh, how would I ever write if I couldn’t quote Sex and the City?!).

Naturally, in a relationship, we either have to give up on some of our little vices, or learn  how to hide them better.

As close as we are to the other person, there are some things we just don’t want them to know! 

Personally, I like to sit around in bed in my undies, binge eat crisps, and watch old episodes of coupling. Not that my behaviour is particularly outrageous/disgusting (albeit, some people might argue that there is nothing worse than crumbs in bed), it’s just something I only like doing solo.

So, at what point  is it ok to start letting our guard down, and what things are just never a good idea to share? 

Rule for NOT Over Sharing: 

1. Everyone has their little gross habits, things that are only considered horrid if done in front of someone else. What I’m saying is, that some things don’t need to be shared; it’s perfectly fine that your boyfriend doesn’t know everything about you. This in no way means that you don’t have a healthy, open partnership; it just means that you have boundaries.

Boundaries are important! They allow us to maintain our own personal space within the relationship.

 2. Different people have different lines they will/won’t cross before their silver wedding anniversary. He may find it perfectly normal to wax his chest in front of you; if this is something you don’t wanna see, ask him nicely not to do it when you’re around ( and don’t make him feel like a leper for it!).

3. The walls will come down slowly, that’s just the way it works; there is no need to rush, or force the inevitable.

Whether it’s leaving the toilet door open when you pee, or telling your boyfriend about that time you got really bad food poisoning in Bolivia, you should be in a place where sharing these things feels comfortable (for the both of you).

31 comments

  1. I think some of the more “archaic” advice to ladies about not letting a man see your daily, less glamorous routines and thereby maintaining your mystery, has a lot to be said for it. Personally, I find the examination of a chin in the mirror, accompanied with sudden jerking motions of a pair of tweezers, to be quite discouraging. Similarly, other aspects of a ladies toilette can be quite a passion killer, such as seeing someone squeezing into those dreadful “flesh” coloured “control briefs” before the lovely dress in preparation for a night out (which is why said briefs ended up in a tree in my garden when my disgust overwhelmed me whilst hanging out the washing).
    No, far better I think that some of the more intimate aspects of a lady’s daily routine be hidden from view such that mystique remains to provide allure.
    And I in turn will keep my own quotidian personal tasks to myself (though mystique is rarely something a man possesses in abundance so there is little to lose in that respect). Sometimes, enthralling though a conversation is, it must be interrupted by the need to spend a penny and nobody really wants to hear the shaking, do they?

  2. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS RULE!! I KNEW OF SOMEONE (WHICH WILL REMAIN ANNOYMOUS!!) WHO HAD AN STD AND FELT IT WAS OKAY TO TELL THE GUY ON THE FIRST DATE!! NEED YOU KNOW, IT WAS THE VERY FIRST DATE, WITH A COMPLETELY NEW GUY SHE JUST MET… PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT TIMING AND JUST PLAIN OL’ ITS NOT THE OTHER PERSONS BUSINESS… AT LEAST NOT YET FOR GOODNESS SAKE! ;)

  3. I definitely agree with these points. But eventually, if you get closer or begin to get serious (thinking of marriage) you’re going to have to tell them some of the quirky stuff lol. You will shock the hell out of them if you don’t LOL. That’s funny just thinking about it. Great article

  4. Oh my goodness I do all the things that are usually frowned upon too! This post made me feel a lot better – I am clearly not alone! I agree that not all things need to be shared, but that with appropriate boundaries we’re keeping the lines of communication open.

    Love the pic of the guy in the bath with the ducks. Lol

    http://www.styleonthecouch.com

  5. I was just thinking the same thing the other day! I also like to sit around in my baggy clothes. I live with my boyfriend, but I think he should NOT be seeing that. So I’m going to stop doing it!!!

    Great post!

  6. I also like to eat crisps in bed. But as you said, not in company of any sort. I also like to eat ice cream in vast and disgusting qualities. A motivational tool to make me to go the gym in the morning, but not something a bloke needs to witness you doing. As one of my male friends said “eating that much fat is just.. just.. gross.” Subtext was obvious..

    Love the blog (:

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