We all have, what a wise woman (and her screen play writer) once referred to as: our S.S.B-Secret Single Behaviour; things we would only dare do behind a locked door, alone. (gosh, how would I ever write if I couldn’t quote Sex and the City?!).
Naturally, in a relationship, we either have to give up on some of our little vices, or learn how to hide them better.
As close as we are to the other person, there are some things we just don’t want them to know!
Personally, I like to sit around in bed in my undies, binge eat crisps, and watch old episodes of coupling. Not that my behaviour is particularly outrageous/disgusting (albeit, some people might argue that there is nothing worse than crumbs in bed), it’s just something I only like doing solo.
So, at what point is it ok to start letting our guard down, and what things are just never a good idea to share?
Rule for NOT Over Sharing:
1. Everyone has their little gross habits, things that are only considered horrid if done in front of someone else. What I’m saying is, that some things don’t need to be shared; it’s perfectly fine that your boyfriend doesn’t know everything about you. This in no way means that you don’t have a healthy, open partnership; it just means that you have boundaries.
Boundaries are important! They allow us to maintain our own personal space within the relationship.
2. Different people have different lines they will/won’t cross before their silver wedding anniversary. He may find it perfectly normal to wax his chest in front of you; if this is something you don’t wanna see, ask him nicely not to do it when you’re around ( and don’t make him feel like a leper for it!).
3. The walls will come down slowly, that’s just the way it works; there is no need to rush, or force the inevitable.
Whether it’s leaving the toilet door open when you pee, or telling your boyfriend about that time you got really bad food poisoning in Bolivia, you should be in a place where sharing these things feels comfortable (for the both of you).