We all have, what a wise woman (and her screen play writer) once referred to as: our S.S.B-Secret Single Behaviour; things we would only dare do behind a locked door, alone. (gosh, how would I ever write if I couldn’t quote Sex and the City?!).
Naturally, in a relationship, we either have to give up on some of our little vices, or learn how to hide them better.
As close as we are to the other person, there are some things we just don’t want them to know!
Personally, I like to sit around in bed in my undies, binge eat crisps, and watch old episodes of coupling. Not that my behaviour is particularly outrageous/disgusting (albeit, some people might argue that there is nothing worse than crumbs in bed), it’s just something I only like doing solo.
So, at what point is it ok to start letting our guard down, and what things are just never a good idea to share?
Rule for NOT Over Sharing:
1. Everyone has their little gross habits, things that are only considered horrid if done in front of someone else. What I’m saying is, that some things don’t need to be shared; it’s perfectly fine that your boyfriend doesn’t know everything about you. This in no way means that you don’t have a healthy, open partnership; it just means that you have boundaries.
Boundaries are important! They allow us to maintain our own personal space within the relationship.
2. Different people have different lines they will/won’t cross before their silver wedding anniversary. He may find it perfectly normal to wax his chest in front of you; if this is something you don’t wanna see, ask him nicely not to do it when you’re around ( and don’t make him feel like a leper for it!).
3. The walls will come down slowly, that’s just the way it works; there is no need to rush, or force the inevitable.
Whether it’s leaving the toilet door open when you pee, or telling your boyfriend about that time you got really bad food poisoning in Bolivia, you should be in a place where sharing these things feels comfortable (for the both of you).
after watching that episode, i became entranced with staring at my pores like charlotte did.
I think some of the more “archaic” advice to ladies about not letting a man see your daily, less glamorous routines and thereby maintaining your mystery, has a lot to be said for it. Personally, I find the examination of a chin in the mirror, accompanied with sudden jerking motions of a pair of tweezers, to be quite discouraging. Similarly, other aspects of a ladies toilette can be quite a passion killer, such as seeing someone squeezing into those dreadful “flesh” coloured “control briefs” before the lovely dress in preparation for a night out (which is why said briefs ended up in a tree in my garden when my disgust overwhelmed me whilst hanging out the washing).
No, far better I think that some of the more intimate aspects of a lady’s daily routine be hidden from view such that mystique remains to provide allure.
And I in turn will keep my own quotidian personal tasks to myself (though mystique is rarely something a man possesses in abundance so there is little to lose in that respect). Sometimes, enthralling though a conversation is, it must be interrupted by the need to spend a penny and nobody really wants to hear the shaking, do they?
This is soooo cute! I love it! I love the photos too!
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS RULE!! I KNEW OF SOMEONE (WHICH WILL REMAIN ANNOYMOUS!!) WHO HAD AN STD AND FELT IT WAS OKAY TO TELL THE GUY ON THE FIRST DATE!! NEED YOU KNOW, IT WAS THE VERY FIRST DATE, WITH A COMPLETELY NEW GUY SHE JUST MET… PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT TIMING AND JUST PLAIN OL’ ITS NOT THE OTHER PERSONS BUSINESS… AT LEAST NOT YET FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
This article could use more personal examples. Like embarrassing things about the TMI other people have exhibited too soon. On second thought…
Well, if you can’t work out which one of those happened to me I can’t be that bad on the TMI front (;
Ladies, after 36years of marriage there are still boundaries to maintain!
I am a firm believer in boundaries … some things and/or smells I DO NOT want to know lol!
I definitely agree with these points. But eventually, if you get closer or begin to get serious (thinking of marriage) you’re going to have to tell them some of the quirky stuff lol. You will shock the hell out of them if you don’t LOL. That’s funny just thinking about it. Great article
Oh my goodness I do all the things that are usually frowned upon too! This post made me feel a lot better – I am clearly not alone! I agree that not all things need to be shared, but that with appropriate boundaries we’re keeping the lines of communication open.
Love the pic of the guy in the bath with the ducks. Lol
http://www.styleonthecouch.com
Haha, great post, and awesome pics!
Where did you get the one of the woman shaving her face?
-Dani
Flicker I think, it amused me greatly
Thank you (:
I have been married longer than not, and still there are things I don’t care to share. Your blog is very creative and fun. Thank you
Ha I love this rule – and totally get it! There are just some things that I prefer to keep to myself, and am rally alright with him keeping to himself as well!
Much love,
B
I was just thinking the same thing the other day! I also like to sit around in my baggy clothes. I live with my boyfriend, but I think he should NOT be seeing that. So I’m going to stop doing it!!!
Great post!
Love this post!!
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I also like to eat crisps in bed. But as you said, not in company of any sort. I also like to eat ice cream in vast and disgusting qualities. A motivational tool to make me to go the gym in the morning, but not something a bloke needs to witness you doing. As one of my male friends said “eating that much fat is just.. just.. gross.” Subtext was obvious..
Love the blog (:
LOL thanks so much for stopping by (:
And I agree, Ben and Jerry’s binging should be done in private
Definitely.
Keep up making the rules!
I wish I could be the one to make the rules! (;
Aww, don’t we all. Women could collaborate and make dating into a flowchart…
That would be genius!
Definitely. This could form a column in my magazine if I get round to launching it!
I feel like if as a race, we could mange to simplify the whole process down to a few ‘easy to follow’ diagrams, we would all be so much better off!
Oh, definitely. And we could extend it out into other arenas of life too, like job interviews. (:
Hahaha to be fair there really is no difference between a job interview and a first date (other than maybe a little snogging at the end if it goes well (; ).
You have a very valid point there, aha.
I hate job interviews, I get really nervous!
(:
Hi!
How funny… and true! I’ll keep an eye on your blog to always be prepared for this cruel world of dating.
Please, pop again and share your thoughts on my photos, I’d love to have your witty point of view
http://anishkaboumashka.wordpress.com/
anishkaboumashka
Thanks, Ashley! I wasn’t aware you could do that!