Who doesn’t keep secrets? They’re fun, empowering and sometimes, just plain embarrassing!
You might not be a superhero in your free time, but you most defiantly have things in your past/present that are strictly off limits. Keeping stuff to yourself is a completely legitimate practice (and people shouldn’t make you feel guilty for it).
So, is it ok to keep secrets from each other? What do we have to/should we share?!
Rules for Pursed Lips:
1. In my personal opinion, you are not obligated to tell the other person anything you don’t want to, unless it affects them! If it will somehow have repercussions for the other person you are obligated to say something.
For example: you don’t have to tell your boyfriend that you secretly moonlight as a server wench (in your local pirate establishment). But you are obligated to tell him if your ex emailed you to tell you he has some sort of strange rash on his naughty parts, and he might have passed it on to you.
2. Secrets can be harmful, don’t forget that! When they come out they can potentially be deal breakers for your partner.
So take that into consideration before deciding to keep something important from him.
I once dated someone for months before I discovered that he smoked (I don’t date smokers, so he had craftily hid it from me for ages). It was only after about the sixth time we broke up that I found out.
Think it through properly before withholding! What are the possible consequences for keeping this a secret? Is that a price you’re willing to pay?
3. Honesty really is the best foundation for a relationship (not only a cliché your therapist tells you). And just like you expect honesty, you are also required to live up to your own standards.