Rule #25- I’ve Got a Secret, Can You Keep It?

Who doesn’t keep secrets? They’re fun, empowering and sometimes, just plain embarrassing!

You might not be a superhero in your free time, but you most defiantly have things in your past/present that are strictly off limits. Keeping stuff to yourself is a completely legitimate practice (and people shouldn’t make you feel guilty for it).

So, is it ok to keep secrets from each other? What do we have to/should we share?!

Rules for Pursed Lips:

1. In my personal opinion, you are not obligated to tell the other person anything you don’t want to, unless it affects them! If it will somehow have repercussions for the other person you are obligated to say something.

For example: you don’t have to tell your boyfriend that you secretly moonlight as a server wench (in your local pirate establishment). But you are obligated to tell him if your ex emailed you to tell you he has some sort of strange rash on his naughty parts, and he might have passed it on to you.

2. Secrets can be harmful, don’t forget that! When they come out they can potentially be deal breakers for your partner. 

So take that into consideration before deciding to keep something important from him.

I once dated someone for months before I discovered that he smoked (I don’t date smokers, so he had craftily hid it from me for ages). It was only after about the sixth time we broke up that I found out.

Think it through properly before withholding! What are the possible consequences for keeping this a secret? Is that a price you’re willing to pay?

3. Honesty really is the best foundation for a relationship (not only a cliché your therapist tells you). And just like you expect honesty, you are also required to live up to your own standards. 

12 comments

  1. Sometimes it’s good to have some secrets to help keep the mystery alive. Like if you need to cancel a date, sometimes “headache” is a better excuse than “stomach flu”

  2. With the advent of Facebook and other such ‘social’ networks, there is NO such thing as privacy. It’s the reason why I do not subscribe to any of them. I have a blog and that is it. Nothing travels faster than the speed of a naughty secret! Like my friend’s mom always said: ‘the world is far too small a place. if you’re planning on being naughty, make sure NO one is around to see you’ ha ha.

    I like my secrets.

    I found that people tell me all sorts of rubbish. At work, for example, I am this well of information. It’s weird. I think I have that ‘kind of face’ that says, ‘tell me your stuff’. I’m in the wrong business. I should be in psychiatry.

  3. Could you go over what to do when the object of your affection is currently with another person? And thus, how to move on? Or not move on, and just try and become his/her friend?

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