Rule #26- Your Relationship With Your Social Network

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I’m back! Did you miss me? I’m sorry for my long absence; I decided to take myself off to The Alps for a well needed winter vacation.

Snow is so wonderful, but now, back to reality.

A few weeks ago, a girlfriend and I got all sassed up and went out. It was one of those dimly lit kind of joints, and we sat down on the bar. Opposite us, were two guys, and one of them spiked my friend’s interest.

She waited for the opportune moment, picked up her drink, and went over to chat. He was cute, funny, and they hit it off right away. It was getting late, and I was ready to head out. But instead of asking her for her cell number, he asked her for her FaceBook username.

She refused to give it to him and offered her phone number instead; which he graciously accepted.

There is no question that social networks have brought about huge changes. Suddenly, private information is so assessable. Our lives are under the ever scrutinizing eyes of our piers.  But what do these changes mean for our love lives?

How does your relationship with your facebook affect your relationship with your partner?

Rules for Internet Accessible Dating:

1. Don’t make your on-line profile available to anyone you’re dating unless you are comfortable with them, and you trust them. In my opinion, adding someone to your FaceBook is just like giving them permission to legally stalk you.

If you do choose to approve them, at the very least, consider that you are giving someone new full admission into your life; be certain that you are ready for that. 

2. It’s kind of ironic, that while F.B is so much more personal than your phone number, getting asked out via message is so impersonal. Pick up the phone and call!

3. I feel like the right time to change your status from ‘single’ to ‘getting some’, should be just around the time when you are planning your wedding (and that’s just because it’s easier than calling everyone up to tell them the good news).

There are a few good reasons for this: A. When you get your heartbroken, you do not want it splashed all over the internet.

B. Think of the people you’re friends with. Do you really want your boss knowing every little detail of your private life?! (Or for that matter, your mum, who just learned how to turn on her computer. She thinks she is private messaging you, but is really posting on your wall; wanting to know what happened to that lovely boy you brought home for the holidays).

c. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wants to see you two kissing in the five-hundred photos you took on your ‘romantic getaway’. Dial down the PDA.

While the internet used to be a small medium, open to only one or two hundred of our closest friends, it is now much more public than that.

We should be keeping a much closer eye on who we let into our lives, even our virtual ones.

25 comments

  1. very good post! Very informative and insightful!!! I’m married and not looking for any side relationships but this is great information to know for when you meet anyone new!!

  2. One of my friends recently changed his status from “single” to “in a relationship” with a girl who lived in a town he was moving to. A week later when he actually moved he put up a post about how they were going to their first ever date. He needs to read your blog!

  3. Fun fact: anyone with just a first name on ‘the chart’ is actually a real person somehow involved with the show (whether it be make-up, producer, whatever).

  4. This is true, which is why I do NOT let anyone on my FB! I just finally let a male friend I have been hanging out with since August on there! And that was pushing it. Random dates? No way, 1. They end up knowing way too much way too soon. 2. They can and will cyber stalk your every post, picture and friend who “likes” a status. 3. Could possibly be totally inappropriate on your wall. Just a bad idea.

  5. Oh goodness social media has totally changed the way we meet and date. I remember the “three day rule ” (a la swingers the movie, where there was a very funny scene about that) but now if yoiu don’t get a DM or text or something immediately after a date it’s like WHAT HAPPENED?! lol. Crazy.

    http://www.styleonthecouch.com

    ps I’m catching up on blog reading after my own travels in Feb. Thanks so much for continuing to visit StyleOntheCouch!

  6. Also by not adding someone you are dating to fb you can have all my attention to your original life without him, especially since fb is an important part of our social life. Having someone you are dating on fb is like you could, or you would, socialise with him whenever you are socialising (on fb)! It’s dangerous to let him become a habit in your life by “networking” him in when you are not that close to him.

    1. lol I had a typo there above – ‘Also by not adding someone you are dating to fb you can have all my attention…’ should be ‘… all your attention…’. Sorry for that :)

  7. This post is freaking fabulous. I just “met” someone on Twitter (accidentally…..) it wasn’t on purpose or a SEARCHING I WANT YOU type of thing. And he asked to have me add him to my Facebook account.

    UM, no. And I have not. And will not. I don’t add people I DO NOT KNOW.

  8. After I left a party one of the male guests added me as a friend on facebook by going through our mutual friends photos! He hadn’t even asked me for my name or had a conversation with me!

    I assume it was some new way of picking up? Stalking up more like it!

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