In Jane Austen’s novels we have alluring glances from across the room and suggestive smiles. These days we have coded texts and muddling emails. Modern dating lingo is chock full of innuendo, vagueness, and ways of saying things that mean other things. In short, things have gotten pretty damn confusing.
In theory, to avoid awkward conversations, it’s great to have these codes. ‘Awake?’ instead of ‘Fancy a shag? ‘It’s not YOU it’s ME’, instead of: ‘It’s not me, it’s YOU’. And so on…
The only problem is, that no one has ever printed out a manual and handed it out on street corners. How awesome would that be?!
If we ALL had the same phrasebook, we could be as illusive as we liked, with no consequence. But alas, there is no such magical pamphlet in circulation.
I absolutely despise not knowing where things stand. I think we ALL do.
There is nothing more annoying than being messed around with.
So, let’s wade through this mucky subject together and try to make sense of things.
Rules for Cracking The Code:
1. There are certain things that EVERYONE takes to mean sex. If, and only IF, you can be certain that the other person is going to understand, use a euphemism. Otherwise, avoid confusing each other; it really is counterproductive.
2. If you feel uncomfortable using certain words, or saying things that are either downright or borderline dirty; sit down the two of you and decide on your own code (that you both understand).
(Yes, I do realize that this can be kind of silly. But, it can also be fun and bonding, so give it a go).
3. Codes are fun, games are fun; but at some point they will just wind up causing trouble. Instead of spending hours playing guessing games with yourself (and your girlfriends), just ask him what he meant. Boy, do I know how hard that is (for months I thought ‘LOL’ meant lots of love. Needless to say, that lead to a few exceedingly uncomfortable moments, and ‘LOL’ isn’t even cryptic).
Most cryptic language we use is for: asking someone out, dumping, sex, or any other slightly uncomfortable topic. It helps minimizing rejection on the one hand, but on the other it’s a pain in the tush. So please, please, think twice about the words you use, and don’t be afraid to tell other people to be more clear with you! Coyness is only beneficial to a point.