10 Things You Must Do On First Dates

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Make Sure It Is In Fact A Date

These days it has become confusingly common practice to just “hang out” with someone. This ambiguous and muddling invite will probably cause you to get all dressed up, go out with someone, and spend the whole evening with the added anxiety of not being sure if this date is really a date. Ambiguity sucks, so if you’re the one doing the asking just make it clear that it’s a date. If you’re on the asked side of the equation, trust me, the ten seconds of embarrassment for the misunderstanding are so much better than an entire night’s worth of confusion. Not to mention if you hug warmly at the end, that will earn you another week of frustration.

So, now that you are both sure you are actually on a date:

Pick Somewhere Nonthreatening &…

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Rule #41- The ‘I’m Not Sure If This Is A Date’ Date


via Joxemai

Let me set the scene for you (because we’ve all been in it, at the very least once or twice in our adult lives).

You’ve arranged to ‘hang out’ with someone; It’s most likely evening, there is alcohol on the table, and the sexual tension is buzzing around almost tangibly (at least you think it is… isn’t it?!). You really like them, but because of the nature of the encounter, you’re not sure if the feeling is mutual.

I think this has only happened to me twice, and both times it was confusing and rather agitating. Especially, when it comes to working out if someone is into us ‘that way’ or not.

So what can you do about it?

1. Most of these errors happen because we aren’t sure if the other person is interested in us (sometimes I wish humans could read each other’s minds, and then I remember what a god awful idea that would be). Therefore, we need to investigate things a little further.

Not that I’m against treading lightly. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that’s what a FIRST DATE is for. When you define the activity as a date, the boundaries are clear, you both know where things stand. You’ve both agreed to get a drink and see if there is ‘something there’. 

Just don’t let yourself end up in ambiguous situations! If someone says “let’s hang out next Friday!”,  Just go out on a limb and ask “like on a date?!” .

Things might not work out romantically, but at least you are both on the same page. 

2. Fear not, if you do find yourself in this unfortunate situation, there are a few ways to get out of it.

For starters, you can always be blunt and ask them (the worst that can happen is that you will end up realizing it was an awkward misunderstanding, that you can either laugh off, or end the evening prematurely with the most uncomfortable hug ever). Or you can go for plan B (this is what I usually do): show you are interested! I’ve fondly named plan B. flirt your bum off.”

3. They may not be into you at all. People flirt for so many different reasons; to make themselves feel good, they genuinely think they are just being nice (and really didn’t mean to flirt at all), they want something from you (not necessarily sexually); the possibilities are endless! 

My rule is, if I’m not sure, I either reciprocate to show I’m interested and, see where it goes – or let it go and move on.

4. If you aren’t interested in the other person, and you think you may be on a date, make it CLEAR that it isn’t a date. You don’t have to phrase it that way, you can tactfully slip it into the conversation, but make sure that they know you’re not interested. 

(Try and do this ahead of time on the phone. Make it clear up front that it’s a hang out as ‘just friends’, and try not to wind up in the most ‘couply’ spot in town).

The best relationships often grow out of friendships. Just don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the ‘does he/she like me?’ limbo! Because it’s frustrating as all hell.

Rule #8- How Many Frozen Margaritas Are TOO Many?

Whisky Bottle

We all reach that comfortable feeling, on the third or fourth date, when we are ready to throw our inhibitions to the wind, and down a few alcoholic beverages.

It doesn’t matter if your motives are to loosen up a little, or get pissed; there is a fine line between being adorably tipsy, and talking incessantly about your pig of an ex-boyfriend (and getting increasingly upset with your date, for being ‘insensitive’, because he doesn’t want to talk about him).

Now, I won’t lie to you, there is a lot to be said for that first time you get really wasted together and attempt drunken sex. But in most cases, you just end up doing, or saying, things you will come to regret (this will result in you being way too embarrassed to ever see this person again).

So, how do you know when it’s time to set down your cocktail glass?

Rules Of Intoxication (on a date):

1. Have one drink! (Or two if you can hold your liqueur. Seriously, NO guy finds holding your hair back while you vomit a fun activity on a date).

2. It’s alright to use alcohol to loosen up a bit, but if you can’t have fun together without drinking you’re in trouble… (If you need to down at least two shots before you are willing to kiss the guy, maybe he just isn’t for you!)

3. Don’t mix drinks (now that’s just some good advice for life ).

4. The sex will NEVER be as good as you think it will be  (Don’t be the person who falls asleep during an attempt at drunken sex. Your partner will NOT appreciate it).

5. No one wants to embarrass themselves in front of someone they barely know! Trust me, it’s really hard to go back and fix that bad impression later.